Kesher Talk

For the sake of those non-Israelis, Jews and gentiles, who are not familiar with power that the religious establishment in Israel exercises over its mostly secular population, I wrote this a while ago. There I have listed some of the areas in which that power is apparent. One important area I mentioned only briefly is the marital issues. For example, there were no civil marriages in Israel, until very recently, and their recognition is still an up-hill battle. Another, very painful phenomena, is what my dictionary translates as "abandoned wife". I don't know if this translation is accurate, but I know what it means.

An Israeli friend of mine in Missouri has a sister in Israel, who is/was (?) married, and had several children (grown up now). The marriage was OK, until her husband started going through some difficulties with his career, and, consequently, with finances. He became increasingly frustrated. Then he became increasingly violent. It was getting worse by the day. At some point, the woman decided that she had enough beatings, and left the house, taking the kids with her. Now, if this had happened in any Western country, she would have filed for a divorce, and gotten it without too many questions asked. But the Halachic law does not grant a wife the power to divorce her husband. That power is exclusively reserved for the men. Granted, even in Israel, most couples divorce after reaching a mutual understanding that they no longer wish to remain married. But occasionally, the guy decides to spite his wife, and does not grant her a divorce. That is what happened with this couple. This woman cannot re-marry. Even dating is problematic, since she remains legally married, and it is not very attractive to eligible men. Besides, her dating can give her idiot of a husband grounds to claim that she is being promiscuous, which can give him an advantage if he is seeking custody of the kids.
Unable to change the Halachic law, the civil courts tried to get around the problem by sometimes threatening especially stubborn divorce refusers with imprisonment. I guess it worked in some cases. But I know for a fact that there are several proud patriarchs who are still serving time (whatever time it is).

There are more than a few American Jews that still do not grasp the gravity of the situation. I don't blame them: it is difficult to understand some of the problems a particular society faces, until one actually get to live in that society for an extended period of time.
Already in that old post the name of Tomy Lapid came up. I further discussed him, and political religion in general in Israel here.
Many American Jews, especially those who are religiously observant, are concerned that Lapid will turn Israel into another European country. I do not deny that they have some reason for concern. In fact, Lapid was quoted as saying as much, when asked what would his ideal Israel look like (the half-joking answer was "Holland", I think). But there are several factors that those who worry are not taking into account. One of them is that Israeli political system is a parliamentary one. Which means that even if Lapid does become a PM (which is not very likely any time soon), he will be forced to form a coalition with people who are much less secular than he is. And, some of his own party's members are religious. Not only that Lapid's views are not as extreme as some would make you believe, but his most extreme views are held by a very small minority in Israel. Most Israelis are, well, like myself: agnostic on the existence of god, and observant of Jewish traditions to various degrees. Most don't want to live in Holland. But we don't want to live in Mea Shearim, either. Right now Lapid's Shinui is the only party that can begin to pull Israel towards the reasonable and civilized middle ground, away from the cultural brink, where it is now, and where it has increasingly been for many years.

posted by Alisa InWonderland @ 1/30/2003 09:23:29 PM