I was poking around in a few different places for more on sex within Jewish marriage (where does it say it is required, what are the interpretations, etc.). It was a spin-off from last week's revelation that porn star Nina Hartley is teaching adult education classes in a synagogue (See Feb. 14's "Jewish Porn Strikes Again!"). Kosher sex indeed.
Anyhow, the wacky folks at Aish HaTorah seem to think it is a common question. The "Aish Rabbi" (of "Ask the Rabbi" Aish fame) summarizes the history of the myth:
Many years ago, two tourists were walking through Mea Shearim, an Orthodox neighborhood in Jerusalem. As they were looking at all the children playing in the street and the merchants selling their wares, the tourists looked up at a laundry line and saw a sheet with a hole in the middle of it. One asked his friend if he knew what it was. Taking his best guess, the friend said it must be a special sheet that married couples use for relations. This first guy then noticed there were strings tied to each corner of the sheet. "And what are those strings on the four corners?" he asked. "To tie to the four bed posts," his friend replied.
Actually, it was a tallis.
To be frank, having sex through a sheet sounded far too kinky for Jewish law. But maybe that is just my unenlightened view of stuffy orthodoxy.
Indeed, the Aish rabbi cites "the Code of Jewish Law (OC 250)" (can anyone explain the parenthetical reference he makes to me?)
during relations, both the man and woman must be completely unclothed. This is because the Torah wants the husband and wife to be as intimate as possible, without anything separating between them.
That's more like it, at least as far as the uptight traditional veneer of religious views on sex would appear to me. Now I am even more curious. What about socks when it is cold in the winter? Does the "Code" refer to frequency? Position? Orthodoxy seems at first like a missionary-position-only do-only-what-ya-gotta religious movement, but most things I have heard indicate that the married Orthodox Jews have good sex lives.
Of course, it may be that what contributes to their health sex lives is the extensive denial they must practice. There are many days on the calendar, including certain holidays and around a woman's period every month, when a man and woman cannot have sex. Heck, at cetain times I believe they cannot even really touch each other at all.
Rest assured, you can count on Howard to do the tough investigating... I intend to look into the subject further. Hey, I'm allowed to do this kind of thing. I need to know! I'm getting married in October and want to be prepared.
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